So, every morning I read my horoscope. (Cheesy, I know) This morning, my horoscope told me to not only think back on the year that 2017 was, but more specifically to think back to how I felt when I woke up the morning of December 30th, 2016.
You know how I felt a year ago? Defeated. Betrayed. Heartbroken. Now, I know I seem dramatic, but hear me out.
Someone once told me that you can never apologize for the way things make you feel. If something upsets you, it upsets you. You have to acknowledge those feeling in order to truly be able to move on.
So that morning a year ago? I woke up in bed at my parents house, crying as I slowly woke up and all the memories filtered back through my mind. I thought back on the time and effort I wasted on a boy who was not only on a different page than me, but reading an entirely different book. I may have only been 20, but for the first time in my life I was feeling my heart break and there’s no other way to put it than it sucked.
Now, let’s fast-forward to this morning. This morning? I woke up and I looked back on my 2017 proudly. I looked back at the things I was able to accomplish and the memories that I created and the other person I was that morning a year ago seems so far away.
In 2017, I was not only able to rebuild some important relationships in my life, but also to build relationships with friends that I know will be in my life forever. I had the chance to go to France, a place I have dreamed about since I was a little girl, and see the beautiful city of Paris. I then got to go to Cannes and intern at the International Film Festival and even walk a red carpet. I got to work my very first NBA Summer League which is an experience that I will NEVER forget. I was able to graduate early from the University of Central Florida, Magna Cum Laude and with University Honors. I MOVED TO TEXAS! I started my professional career with a new job that I love. I got a new “big girl” apartment and car that is all mine.
I made so many strides in my life in 2017, personally and professionally. I grew into myself and learned how to capitalize on my strengths and I pushed myself to improve on my weaknesses. I became more confident and more comfortable in my own skin.
If I could go back a year, and leave myself a message it would say this: “THINGS WILL GET BETTER. What you went through, happened. Who you were, existed. You need your past and your mistakes to take you where you want to be.”
So while many people anxiously await the beginning of a new year, the chance for a fresh start, I’m hoping to continue on the journey that I started a year ago. I’m hoping I continue to work towards and strive to be the best person that I can be.
My favorite quote in the world is one that is attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“Be Silly. Be Honest. Be Kind.”
My goal for 2018? To live a life that is always silly, honest, and kind.