“Jaz, you just don’t like guys in general. You’re mean to all of them. If you just gave one of them a chance…”

I joke around with my friends a lot, more often than I’d like to admit, about my perpetual single-ness. I screenshot and send them the funny memes, I kid with them about being the single older sister who marries off her little sister first, and laugh at the idea of heading to family functions alone for the next few years.

But the truth of the matter is, I LIKE being single. I don’t date, simply because I don’t want to. 

I am independent, almost to a fault.

I love my autonomy, the option to do what I want and when I want. I like the flexibility that I have to pursue my own adventures, whatever it may be that day. I love that I can dedicate myself to working and chasing my dreams.

I’m only 20 years old. A relationship is not at the top of my list right now. The top of my list is finishing school next spring. The top of my list is working hard to set myself up to be successful in my career.

That being said, if I even want to consider making the time to be in a relationship, the guy better be worth it. But look at who I’m surrounded by. I’m surrounded by guys who are (a) immature (b) just looking for a good time or (c) want to talk to me, her, and that girl over there too.

I would rather be single and doing my own thing than be played by someone who is just looking for a good time.

Yes, it would be nice to have someone to enjoy those adventures with, someone that I can consistently go to when I need someone to talk to, but I already have that. I have been blessed with the most AMAZING support system of friends and family that will always have my back.

Ellen J Barrier once said, “A strong woman builds her own world, She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with”

My parents raised me to be independent, to fight my own battles, to be able to provide for myself and not rely on anyone else.

One day I’ll meet someone, someone who will encourage me and push me to reach for greatness. Someone who will celebrate my triumphs with me and pick me up when I fall.

Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Don’t allow yourself to only feel validated by the love and appreciation of another person.

You are not a one in a million kind of girl, we are the once in a lifetime kind of women.

Strive to be better than you ever thought you could be, and you will find your tribe.


Written by Jazmyn Patterson

Be Silly. Be Honest. Be Kind. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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